It’s all Eve’s Fault.

Originally posted July 29, 2005

Okay, don’t get too used to me updating so often. This is a once in a lifetime deal. I’ll start my first real entry with something that might stir up some controversy. Go ahead and leave a comment and let me know what you think.

Anyone that knows me knows that occasionally I’ll throw in “It’s all so and so’s fault.” When talking about any random problem. Normally it’s just a passerby that has nothing to do with the said problem.

Now however I believe I have gotten to the root of all problems. It’s all Eve’s fault.

Why Eve? What has she done to deserve this blame? Oh I’m sure you can guess it easily enough. Getting kicked out of Eden is a pretty good start. I mean one little piece of fruit is innocent enough even when you’re told no. I mean who would it hurt?

That’s not the problem though really. I’m sure she was a smart lass and was kind of bored in Eden and wanted to see the rest of the world. She no doubt knew that one had to have some kind of adversarial condition in their life for it to be exciting. She just didn’t realize the consequences.

She and Adam, being kicked out of Eden, needed to recreate the feeling of bliss in some way. After some experimentation, and extreme pain, they discovered the orgasm. Of course because she is the one that sinned hers didn’t come as easy. The real problem here though is as further punishment God decided she would be the one to bear the “fruit” of their entanglement. Perhaps she didn’t realize that consequence either. Or the fact that the result would be children who would inbreed over and over until they produced so many mutated genes they became lawyers, politicians and evangelists.

Of course she had no clue what she was doing she just wanted the best for her children, for them to live better lives and eventually make their way back into Eden. Had she taught them to be tolerant and patient and understanding as any good mother should, one of her sons wouldn’t have killed the other starting off millennium of fighting between people who should be siblings.

Okay, step back, this was supposed to be a simple essay on why my life is messed up not the world. Eve was a woman. Eve was an idiot. Therefore giving all women a bad reputation.

On the same note Eve ate the Forbidden Fruit (some claim to be an apple). Apples are computers. Computers are turning people into vegetables. Therefore computers are evil.

I’m a woman. I work with computers. Therefore I’m screwed.

Then again maybe it’s all God’s fault for being so damn picky over one tree.

Okay religious fanatics can now flail me.

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